Monday, August 15, 2011
Way Too Dope for Any of Those Civillians: Monday Morning Affirmation
Monday mornings are always a good time for me to stop, get quiet for a second, and remind myself of who I am. It's not about narcissism but reflection on the past and creating a vision of the future.
Sharing my Monday morning thoughts on Life in High Times is a lot of fun for me. I see it as a typing meditation that keeps me connected to my inner-self, in a world that can make me lose touch quickly. I don't know about everyone else but the journey toward my purpose can get difficult at times. As a young,black woman trying to make my way in this world, I definitely navigate some dicey territory. From keeping your dignity and your job ,loving men, while refusing to defer to them,to living in one of the most dangerous cities in America-- the road can get very rocky, to say the least.
The best weapon in this constant battle,as I have said in other posts,is self-confidence. Not arrogance, just surety, that you are worth and deserving of every dream that you have. There is no one on Earth, who doubts that,whose opinion you should take seriously. This is not to say that this surety will protect you from pain--it won't. I've lost friends, especially male ones, behind mine--but, good riddance...And if I didn't believe that with my whole heart, then,I damn sure do now. Like my girl B said, "Thank God I dodged that bullet."
If a person is disatified with the "type" of man/ woman you are its time to move on. The rest of world will try to invalidate you everyday, you don't need that bullshit from the one you love. Its useless to try to change yourself to better suit another person's tastes and preferences. Unless the change you are working toward stems from a true inner desire, it will only lead to your certain unhappiness.
Everyone who knows me, knows I am Kanye West's biggest fan. I think for all the "don't do it after me" moments that Yeezy has [allegedly] provided. There is also a powerful lesson to be drawn from the young brother. That thing that makes you different--the odd one out, can be your greatest strength-- if you embrace it, instead of letting hating ass motherfuckers eat you alive.
I don't sweat the boys who hurt my feelings in the past. The ones who made fun of the all the books I read, the way I talked, the music I listened to, the clothes I wore. I will never forget the first one to tell me he loved me, but "sometimes nigga just wants to be with a regular girl."
Well... you go ahead and do that sir, I remember thinking-- but I was also crushed. The wages of walking the walk of a very un-regular girl, may be that sometimes you walk that road on your own--dolo. That thought used to scare me very much,but that was a long time ago. Now the only man I want is a real comrade. So in honor of the Kanye West Workout Plan for self esteem, here is my own bite-sized ego confession:
I was much too fly for him to fuck with anyway,
Some throwback video of Kanye in the studio with Jay...believe in yourself folks...